Thanks/Personal Update

Hello, all! I wanted to give you a brief update on what is going on with me personally. Before doing that, though, I want each of you to know how much I appreciate you all who so willingly read these posts and who comment as much as you do. I would not be able to make these reports as regularly as I have been if I wasn't so sure that my doing so is important to you all. Any success I have had as a blogger has been because of your interest in and comments about the things I feel a need to "sound off" about.

I know that some people on blogs and forums that cover Church-related topics have the idea that my time would be better served in other pursuits, and that is their right. But at the end of the day, I can only do what my physical capacity will allow. With the fact that I have been battling a couple of long-term infections for two months now, which was one of the many reasons I lost my job, my doctors have recommended that I should not work until medically cleared to do so. I am getting plenty or rest and fluids, but part of the problem is that my immune system has been somewhat compromised. At this point, I am not eating well during the day nor sleeping well on any given night. I am, quite literally, feeling more ill right now than I ever have at any previous time in my 30 years of life, and that is saying something. Another major piece of the puzzle I found out about just recently is that I am experiencing major depression and anxiety issues. So I am currently not functioning at my best. In these trials, I have felt strongly that this is my personal Gethsemane or Liberty Jail experience. So I feel I understand the Savior and Joseph Smith's experiences much better now than I did a year ago.

As my wife has been unable to do all she has wanted to since the last job she had took such a toll on her until her health necessitated her quitting the job, she is also not well enough to work. It is absolutely heartbreaking for us to realize that, under normal circumstances, we would be considered lazy for not having done more than we are currently doing. As it is, all we can do is try and get our situation resolved in the best possible way, and leave the rest to the Lord.

And at times, especially lately, it seems as though even those who should have our backs and should be doing all they can to help us successfully get through these difficult times are criticizing us for not doing enough for ourselves, and are all too quick to imply that one of us should be working (generally those assertions are made in reference to me by everyone, and at times, even members of our family who do not fully grasp the gravity and intensity of our trials have said something thoughtless in this regard).

The main problem with which we are still grappling is that we are not getting the benefits we should be getting from the government, and it seems like whenever we challenge them on their conduct, the situation just gets worse. Case in point, two fiascoes we are currently dealing with: the SSA has been repeatedly advised that my February pay stubs from my last job were turned in, that my last day working was February 10, and that my last paycheck was issued on February 17, with my job being terminated about 2-1/2 weeks later on March 1. I should by all accounts have received the full SSI amount for this month as a result of that, but my caseworker doesn't seem to grasp the facts, and she recently asserted that I had not sent in my February pay stubs, despite my having done so the week after my last check. And she seems to be deliberately looking for reasons she can legally deny me what I should be getting. I filed an appeal with the SSA generally, but it hasn't yet paid off.

Adding insult to injury is the fact that some of my other benefits, which are managed by the DWS, were abruptly stopped at the end of last month, in spite of my having set in all the paperwork they requested in advance of the set deadline to do so by the end of last month. I had been repeatedly informed that my benefits either would not be terminated or that they would be promptly restored once all that was requested had been handed in. But then it turns out that the DWS couldn't bother to tell me I had a review month this month for some of my other benefits, so I had to scramble to get that done before the deadline they set for that as well.

It is sufficient to note that though there have been obstacles, as there always are, we have been able to take comfort in the fact that, even if no one else in the world or in our families understand what we are going through, at least the Savior does. And He has brought us through similar experiences in the past, though admittedly we have never had something quite like our current situation to contend with.

That is why it always bugs me when people who do not know, understand, or comprehend the full extent and impact of what we are dealing with try to tell us how they think we should run our lives. Since they are not in our shoes, they have no right to presume to tell us what we should be doing. Thankfully, those people are few and far between compared to the number of people we have who have expressed their support and offered prayers in our behalf.

I know some of you whose comments always make my day. And I appreciate your ongoing interest in how we are doing. I hope this update has served to keep you informed about what we are dealing with. For now, any comments are welcome and appreciated. Thanks again.