Stokes Sounds Off: The Importance of Civility/Personal Update

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Friday, April 21, 2017

The Importance of Civility/Personal Update

I would ask that any comments be respectful of others who comment, and also respectful of me and my interest in these things. Whether or not that interest or the opinions of others about it matter to anyone else, time is wasted on incivility, and I am doing my best to ensure that the conversations on this thread keep with the Church's desire of civility in the public discourse.

I have always believed and shared the notion that we can disagree without being disagreeable. My thoughts and feelings and those of any others who react to things I post may not matter to some who read this blog, but the Lord has clearly indicated through His own words and those of His prophets, seers, and revelators that civility in public forums of discussion is in harmony with His will for us. The Savior Himself has wisely stated that contention and those who seek to stir it up are not of Him, but are of the devil, that only those who are completely free of imperfection should cast stones at others, and that one cannot pull the mote (a sliver of wood) out of his brother's eye without first removing the beam in his own.

I will be the first to admit that I am far from perfect, and that I have said and done numerous things that unintentionally wounded people I care about, driving a wedge between myself and them, and at times doing irreparable damage. It sickens me to think about the many people (family and readers of this blog) whom I may have unintentionally driven away because of my thoughtless words and actions. I always intended for this blog to be a safe place where others can comment, and I hate to think that any disrespect on my part to the value and validity of those comments (except those that are spam or used to criticize myself and others for commenting) may be discouraging others from commenting now.

I really do value such feedback, unless it is deliberately mean-spirited, contentious, judgmental, offensive, or vituperative. That is why I have been more closely monitoring comments in the last month, and have tried to be more swift in deleting comments that are out of harmony with the reasons for which I started blogging. I wanted to be able to share both important developments in my life, and, more importantly, in Church and temple news. I have long loved following such things, and I also treasure the opportunity to now provide another positive perspective of the Church and what is happening with it. Some may say my time would be better served in other pursuits (such as providing for my family), but as one with life-long health problems that sometimes impede my ability to live normally as other men do, I am not currently well enough to work. I intend to get back to it when I am medically cleared to do so, but at the moment the instruction from my doctors is to rest and get myself better so that I can get back to living the full life that I have typically enjoyed.

I am one of the lucky ones who, in spite of such conditions that hinder normal day-to-day life, was blessed to be encouraged and supported in living as normal a life as I am able to. I have seen more miracles than I can count in my life, and I have been promised a couple of times in my life that I would be personally healed by the hands of the Savior. Himself when He comes agin As I wait for that day, I make the most of whatever situation I am in. The Lord has sustained me in my infirmities, disabilities, health challenges, and in every experience. So I know that my present inability to function as fully as I have in the past is just temporary and that I will be able to function at my usual level again very soon.

In the interim, I hope that those who read my thoughts are positively impacted thereby. I am doing my best to lift and encourage when I can, and I am beyond grateful for the many well-wishes and prayers that have been extended in my behalf.

And so, acting with all the faith and effort I can muster, I will pull through my present circumstances. In the meantime, thanks for reading this additional post, and for the efforts each one of you who do comment for keeping such comments insightful, respectful, inspirational. I also thank each one of you who has been so kind as to point out oversights or errors in things I have previously said. Because I am not perfect, I have and will inevitably continue to make statements that are not true, correct, or accurate. Your corrections and clarifications keep me in check. I appreciate you all so much. Thanks again!

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In addition to my life-long love for the subjects which I cover in the posts of this blog, I have long held the belief that we can disagree without becoming disagreeable. Differences of opinion are natural, while being disagreeable in expressing those differences is not. And in that sense, I have no desire to close the door on anyone who earnestly desires to contribute to the ongoing dialogue on subjects covered in the posts on this blog.

At the same time, however, I recognize that we live in a time when incivility, discourtesy, unkindness, and even cyber-bullying has regrettably become part of online interactions. With that in mind, while anyone who wishes can comment on anything if they choose to do so, I hereby reserve the right to immediately delete any comments which are critical, unkind, lack civility, or promote prodcuts, services, and values contrary to either the Church, or to the rules of online etiquette.

I'd also like to remind all who comment here that I try to respond personally to each individual comment as I feel is appropriate. Such replies are not meant to end the conversation, but to acknowledge earnest feedback as it is submitted.

And in order to better preserve the spirit and pure intentions for which this blog was established, I also hereby request that anyone not commenting with a regular user name (particularly those whose comments appear under the "Unknown" or "Anonymous" monikers, give the rest of us a name to work with in addressing any replies. If such individuals do not wish to disclose their actual given names, a pseudonym or nickname would suffice.

Any comments made by individuals who opt to not give a name by which they can ber identified may, depending on the substance and tone of such comments, be subject to deletion as well. I would respectfully ask that all of us do all we can to keep the dialogue positive, polite, and without malice or ill-will. May the Lord bless us all in our discussion of these important matters.