Stokes Sounds Off: My Attempt to Clear Up Misconceptions and Misunderstandings

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Sunday, March 10, 2019

My Attempt to Clear Up Misconceptions and Misunderstandings

Hello again, everyone! I hope you will all indulge me as I share a personal post. My purpose in doing so is to attempt (even if I fail) to clear up some misconceptions and misunderstandings on the part of anyone who reads this blog regularly. The need to do so has arisen due to my being criticized through a comment on this blog. The comment, made by one of several who use the "Unknown" moniker to post their feedback, called me out for my failure to recognize that I am not always talking to the same individual in each interaction I have with those who comment as "Unknown".

So let me say this right off the bat: I am only as good as the information I am given. I have one individual who comments as "Unknown" and, in doing so, always leaves his first name with his comment, so I know which "Unknown" comments he has made. I recognize fully that, with the Blogger commenting system being what it currently is, there are some who comment using a default system other than Blogger. And for those individuals, the one and only way I would know whether I am talking to the same person or someone different is if they were to tell me.

Because of this problem cropping up, I wish in some ways I could look through the screen and see who I was talking to every time. I cannot do so, and for the most part, being able to would cause more harm than good. I am also not in any way omniscient, and, due to that fact, am only as good as the information I am given. I would personally love to treat everyone who comments here with the consideration and respect they deserve, and would love to refer to them by name. Therefore, for the sake of my not being perfect or able to see through the screen, could you who use the "Unknown" moniker do me a favor? When you comment, please leave your first name for me before posting, as that will help me know to whom I am speaking.

I also wish to clear up another misconception about me and about the things I post. Some of you who comment have told me that, at times, I come across as being far more interested in asserting the accuracy and validity of my own opinion than I do in conducting a process of earnest dialogue between myself and those who comment here. As I mentioned earlier, I am not perfect. In fact, full disclosure here: I am probably the most imperfect man on earth, even on my best days. That is why I am grateful for the atonement of Jesus Christ, since that can, does, and will make up the difference when I inevitably fall short, which I almost always do.

That said, I do have a firm testimony of the gospel, of the doctrines, practices, and procedures thereof, and I have gained that testimony through years of extensive study. I would be foolish and misguided if I were to claim I have all the answers. I do not now, and I likely will not ever know everything there is to know about the gospel in general, and the topics I cover here in particular. But I have studied for years on end to gain knowledge of such things, and if I don't know something, at least I usually know where to look for answers to such questions. If I have ever portrayed myself as someone who thinks he has all the answers, or whose opinions ought to be considered as the end-all be-all of any discussion, I sincerely apologize. That was in no way, shape, or form my intent.

My purpose for starting this blog was to share my passion for the news and developments of the Church. Generally, I never come away from any interact with anyone in the comments of this blog without having learned something therefrom. As my regular readers will tell you, sometimes in the rush to collect and publish data or information, I overlook something big which escapes my notice. And the efforts others have made to point out such errors are sorely needed. We need to be focused on lifting and encouraging each other, and when that happens through the discussions on this blog, I consider my efforts a success.

Recognizing my imperfections and limitations (which, even on my best days, can be severely debilitating  if I stop and think about them), and acknowledging that I am prone to mistakes constantly, I hope that all of you who read what I post here will forgive and pardon any misunderstanding, misconceptions, or ill feelings any mode or manner of expression I have utilized here may have caused.

My hope and prayer is that we will all do more to ensure civility, kindness, and accuracy purveys and permeates our discussions. If it can be so, then all of my imperfect efforts will have been more than well spent. In the meantime, if any of you have any questions or concerns about my mode and manner of speaking in either blog posts or the comments thereof here, I hope you will feel that this is a safe space where you can let me know about them. As we attempt to uplift, strengthen, encourage, and inspire one another, I likewise hope and pray that the Lord will bless our mutual efforts.

That does it for this post. Any and all comments are, as always, welcome and appreciated, on any post at any time, as long as such comments are made in accordance with the established guidelines. Thank you for the privilege of your time. If you enjoyed what you read here and would like to stay informed of newly-added content, please feel free to subscribe. Until my next post, I wish each one of you all the best and pray that the Lord will bless you all in everything you do.

14 comments:

  1. One of the 'Unknown' commenters on the other blog actually said he had a login problem so he had to post that way, but he posts positively.

    I am certain otherwise than those who for obvious reasons have a legit tech issue that there are those that try to troll blogs. It is a common issue regardless of subject.

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    1. Thank you, James Anderson, for posting your thoughts on this. I can understand it if someone cannot post comments under their own named profile, and it is tragic when that creates complications in dealing with such comments.

      I have also had a fair number of trolls posting on my blog. I have had to permanently move one such internet troll to a list of those banned from commenting forever due to that individual's criticism of me and of others commenting on these threads.

      I observed in a string of comments responding to the original complaint that drove the publication of this post that I am not omniscient, nor am I psychic, nor can I see through the screen. So unless the users who post under the "Unknown" moniker help me out by giving me a way to differentiate between them all, it seems more than a little unfair of them to turn around and expect me to know I am dealing with a different "Unknown" than the one I last talked to.

      It's a core source of frustration for me right now. That said, James Anderson, I'd like to thank you personally for always being willing to provide thoughtful feedback. I know that Blogger recently eliminated the capability of those using an "OpenID" account to comment with their names.

      I understand the frustration driving those using the "Unknown" moniker, but for any of them to expect any of the rest of us to know or be able to figure out that we are not always dealing with the same person strikes me as being very disingenuous, if not borderline or blatantly unreasonable. Thanks again, James Anderson.

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  2. Hi there, from William P

    As I'm not a Blogger user and only ever visit this blog and the church growth blog -2 blogs, I only comment on posts of interest which is on occasion. I find it easier to use the Unknown label as I don't have an account here its a matter of convenience for me, I wouldn't want to use my email (gmail/google) username which I am given the option to use-for privacy.

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  3. If you only read a couple of blogs through the blogger system and don't want to create an account with a user name, that's fine. Letting me know to whom I should direct my reply was exactly what I suggested would be helpful. Well done. May I just say, I am honored that my blog is one of the two you follow on the blogger system. That means a lot to me. As long as you continue to identify yourself jin subsequent comments ust as you did in your last comment, that will prove very helpful to me. In the meantime, thank you for giving your feedback. I am honored, William, to have you as a reader, and look forward to your comments in the future, as often as you'd like to chip in with them. Thanks for taking time to do so.

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  4. And immediately after my last comment, I decided to look further into it - I checked the settings and sure enough, there was a setting I missed. Now you will know who I am without having to preface! I'm the one who served in Haiti :)

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  5. That's fantastic. Glad you were able to resolve the issue in that regard. I have been amazed at the variety of experiences people have related here. I am sure your service in Haiti has given you insight into the growth of the Church in the Caribbean. I was just musing the other day on the seeming irony of the fact that, since the First Presidency pushed the dedication for the Port-au-Prince Haiti Temple back from mid-May to early September, that temple has been considerably more consistent in its' progress towards completion. But I am hoping that means there will be no issues getting things done before the adjusted time for the open house and dedication of that temple. I'm glad you found the solution, which will make it easier for me in this case. Thanks for taking time to comment, Michael.

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  6. Hey, Michael, one more thing. I had been notified of the last comment you made as "Unknown" (I have record of it in my e-mail as being published at 8:22 AM Utah time) but I am not seeing it now. I don't know if it's a system glitch on my end, but wanted to let you know I am looking into that right now. Thanks again for taking time to comment.

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    1. That's odd - it does seem to have disappeared, and it certainly wasn't me that deleted it.

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    2. I didn't touch it either. It's just gone somehow. I have been racking my brains for a way to restore it (as I have a copy of it in my e-mail), but I haven't been able to find any feasible ways to do that. If you happen to remember what it was you said in that comment, and would like to post the general thoughts behind it again, I'd welcome that. In the meantime, I'll keep troubleshooting on my end. Thanks again, Michael.

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    3. Hello, Michael! I am still trying to work out what happened to that comment you left, and what I can do to restore it. I do have the copy of it in my e-mail, so I am wondering if you'd be averse to my reposting it somehow. I have a couple of ways to do that, but I wanted to check with you first to see if either would be a problem.

      I can either reconfigure the comment box in such a way that it will allow me to publish the comment with the timestamp as it would have been before it disappeared, or simply post the comment using the box as is, as though posted by someone with the Anonymous moniker, without altering the time. If you don't have a preference, I could try either or both methods, or I'd also like to give you the option to repost your thoughts again if you happen to remember what that original comment said.

      I apologize for any inconvenience this issue may have caused. While I await your response to this comment, I may do some other things to try and figure out how and why it disappeared in the first place. Thanks again, Michael.

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  7. I must say though... you do have a history of reacting to comments made by people. There are many people who go by "unknown" for similar reasons as stated above. I think you should just assume each unknown person is a different person unless they specifically say otherwise. Don't overreact dude.

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  8. First, I want to make it clear that I have waited to reply until now to ensure that my response is not a knee-jerk initial reaction. I post replies to almost every comment to acknowledge the feedback of everyone who offers their thoughts. If such action constitutes "a history of reacting to comments made by people", then I am clearly guilty as charged. I am not, nor will I ever be, comfortable with assuming anything about any of my readers. You know what they say about what happens when one assume (and if you don't know, Google can enlighten you).

    In the meantime, I find it hard to consider such feedback as seriously meritorious and worthy of taking under advisement when the individual offering it isn't willing to disclose who they are. It makes me curious as to why anyone would expect their feedback to be taken seriously if they are so unwilling/afraid to identify themselves.

    I have made what I feel is a reasonable suggestion to deal with problems reported in a previous thread, whether those problems were detailed by you or someone else equally unwilling to disclose who I'm responding to.

    But what I will do is put this matter out as a question to any of my regular readers, readers who have followed my blog for years and who know a bit more about my methods and intentions than newer readers might in this case:

    Do you agree with any or all elements of the opinion offered by "Unknown" above? Am I off base here in the efforts I have made to resolve the issue? Is the solution to this issue that I have proposed really that unreasonable?

    Based on the responses to these questions, I will go from there. That's the best I can do for now, so I hope it will be acceptable.

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  9. William P

    Before James mentioned he'd prefer we use a name to identify ourselves for whomever uses 'unknown' I had already thought to myself if I should do the same for politeness but I never did put it into action. I never did for simplicity sake, it would be plain internet courtesy if we all did use names for us who go by Unknown just my thoughts.

    I imagine as a blog creator (James) it is not so easy to keep track of the subject matter of convos in the comments, or different comments on separate posts, also at differing times of posting, trying to understand in an organised matter what is going on-using the Unknown label doesn't help.

    So naming yourself would help out to organize things for the blog creator. Also I think its just courtesy to do this now since James has asked us himself he'd prefer it, he is the person who has put this entire blog together, yes.

    Question to James, if some people don't prefer to use their first names fictional/usernames are okay right?

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  10. William, thank you for understanding the reasoning behind my request, which you have interpreted correctly. And the keeping track of various comments through different threads on this blog while making sure to cover everything I'd like to with full accuracy and transparency does make that difficult.

    In another thread, I outlined some of the challenges I am currently facing in terms of my physical health, so common courtesy would be appreciated to help me keep track of those with whom I'm speaking. And while I don't necessarily see why anyone would not want their real names tied to their comments. I get that some may feel that way about this, so I would have no problem if I am given any name to work with, even if that is not the actual person's name. I just need a way to tell who I'm dealing with, and to be able to mold my responses accordingly. Thank you for seeing that as necessary. It's just easier for me that way. I hate the idea that I may have been impolite, discourteous, abrupt or rude to anyone, but it is difficult enough to keep track of different conversations on different threads when I'm at my best, which I'm not at the moment. That said, I am grateful to hear that at least one person understands my motives and desires in the way I'd hoped would be the case. Thank you, William, for taking time to comment.

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In addition to my life-long love for the subjects which I cover in the posts of this blog, I have long held the belief that we can disagree without becoming disagreeable. Differences of opinion are natural, while being disagreeable in expressing those differences is not. And in that sense, I have no desire to close the door on anyone who earnestly desires to contribute to the ongoing dialogue on subjects covered in the posts on this blog.

At the same time, however, I recognize that we live in a time when incivility, discourtesy, unkindness, and even cyber-bullying has regrettably become part of online interactions. With that in mind, while anyone who wishes can comment on anything if they choose to do so, I hereby reserve the right to immediately delete any comments which are critical, unkind, lack civility, or promote prodcuts, services, and values contrary to either the Church, or to the rules of online etiquette.

I'd also like to remind all who comment here that I try to respond personally to each individual comment as I feel is appropriate. Such replies are not meant to end the conversation, but to acknowledge earnest feedback as it is submitted.

And in order to better preserve the spirit and pure intentions for which this blog was established, I also hereby request that anyone not commenting with a regular user name (particularly those whose comments appear under the "Unknown" or "Anonymous" monikers, give the rest of us a name to work with in addressing any replies. If such individuals do not wish to disclose their actual given names, a pseudonym or nickname would suffice.

Any comments made by individuals who opt to not give a name by which they can ber identified may, depending on the substance and tone of such comments, be subject to deletion as well. I would respectfully ask that all of us do all we can to keep the dialogue positive, polite, and without malice or ill-will. May the Lord bless us all in our discussion of these important matters.